Forget The Baby Shower: Why Smart Moms Are Throwing ‘Nesting Parties’ Instead

At its heart, a nesting party is a gathering of loved ones with a shared purpose: to help expecting parents with the practical tasks of preparing their home for a new baby. Think of it as a community-powered prep session. Instead of playing games, guests help with tasks that can feel monumental to a tired, pregnant person and their partner. The focus shifts from the passive act of gift-giving to the active participation in creating a safe, organized, and welcoming environment for the newborn.

The ‘gifts’ at a nesting party are acts of service. Your friends might spend an afternoon:

• Assembling the crib, changing table, or bassinet.
• Washing, folding, and organizing tiny baby clothes.
• Stocking the nursery with diapers and wipes.
• Prepping and freezing meals for the postpartum period.
• Deep cleaning the house so it’s fresh for the baby’s arrival.
• Helping to paint the nursery or install blackout curtains.
• Organizing a ‘postpartum care station’ for the new mom with pads, comfy clothes, and snacks.

This is your village showing you, through action, that you are not alone. It’s a powerful, tangible expression of love that goes far beyond a gift receipt.

This concept honors the primal ‘nesting’ instinct many expectant parents feel—that urgent, overwhelming desire to prepare and organize. A nesting party channels that energy, but shares the load with the people who care about you most, turning a potentially stressful to-do list into a joyful, shared experience.

To truly understand the appeal of a nesting party, it helps to see it side-by-side with the traditional baby shower. While both come from a place of celebration, their core philosophy and execution are quite different. One focuses on celebrating with gifts, the other on supporting with service.

This comparison isn’t to say that baby showers are ‘bad.’ They are a cherished tradition for many! However, for parents who already feel overwhelmed by the consumerism of pregnancy or who value practical support over material goods, the nesting party offers a deeply resonant and helpful alternative.

Choosing to have a nesting party is about more than just getting your nursery set up. The emotional and mental benefits for expectant parents are profound, creating a foundation of support that lasts long after the last freezer meal is eaten.

Reduces Prenatal Stress and Anxiety

The third trimester can be a pressure cooker of to-do lists and anxieties. ‘Is the car seat installed correctly?’ ‘Will we ever get this crib built?’ ‘How will I manage after the birth?’ A nesting party directly tackles these worries. Watching your support system cheerfully tick items off your list provides an incredible sense of relief. It physically lightens your load, which in turn lightens your mental and emotional load, allowing you to focus on the final, precious weeks of pregnancy with more peace.

Builds a True, Hands-On ‘Village’

We all hear the phrase, ‘it takes a village to raise a child,’ but a nesting party is where you actually build it. It shows you who is willing to roll up their sleeves and be there for you in a practical way. This experience forges deeper bonds than simply watching you open a gift. Your friends and family become literally invested in creating a safe space for your baby. These are the people you’ll feel more comfortable calling at 3 a.m. for advice, because they’ve already shown you they are part of your hands-on team.

Provides Genuinely Useful Support

While every gift is given with love, some are more useful than others. You might receive five baby blankets and no bottle brushes. A nesting party ensures the help you receive is exactly what you need most. You create the task list. Whether it’s stocking a diaper caddy or deep cleaning the bathroom, the support is tailored to your specific situation, ensuring that every minute of your loved ones’ time is spent in the most impactful way possible.

Empowers Partners and Dads

Traditional baby showers can often leave partners, especially dads, feeling like accessories. Nesting parties are inherently inclusive. Tasks like assembling furniture, installing shelves, or doing yard work are perfect opportunities for everyone to get involved. It allows the non-pregnant partner to share in the preparation in a visible, communal way, reinforcing the idea that they are an equal and integral part of this journey. It validates their role and surrounds them with support, too.

Planning a nesting party is less about decorations and more about organization. The key is to make it easy for your guests to help you. Here’s a step-by-step guide to creating a successful and stress-free event.

1. Brainstorm Your Needs: Sit down with your partner well in advance. Walk through your home and your to-do list. What tasks feel the most daunting? What would be the most helpful? Categorize your list into ‘must-haves’ (e.g., assemble crib) and ‘nice-to-haves’ (e.g., organize linen closet). Think about tasks of varying difficulty and physical effort to suit different guests.
2. Create a Master Task List: Use a tool like Google Docs, a shared note, or a simple sign-up sheet. For each task, briefly describe what it entails and what supplies are needed. Examples: ‘Meal Prep: Chop veggies for 3 freezer meals (we provide recipes & ingredients)’ or ‘Nursery Setup: Assemble changing table (tools needed: screwdriver, Allen key).’ This allows guests to choose a job they’re comfortable with.
3. Send Out Casual Invitations: Your invitations should set the tone. Be clear about what a nesting party is. You can use wording like: ‘We’re skipping the traditional shower and hosting a ‘nesting party’ instead! Your presence is the only present we need. Come lend a hand as we prepare our home for Baby [Last Name]. We’ll have food, music, and a list of tasks to choose from. Let’s build this village together!’ Be sure to include a link to your task list.
4. Prepare for the Day: Before guests arrive, have all your supplies ready and organized by task. If people are assembling furniture, have the boxes open and the tools laid out. If they’re cooking, have the ingredients and containers ready. This prevents chaos and allows people to get started right away. Also, plan for simple, easy-to-eat food and drinks to keep your helpers fueled—pizza, a pot of chili, or a sandwich platter are perfect.
5. Be the Gracious Director: On the day of the party, your main job is to direct traffic and feel the love. Don’t feel pressured to do the physical labor yourself! Greet your guests, thank them for coming, and point them toward the task list. Mingle, chat, and let your village take care of you. This is a time for you to rest and supervise.
6. Show Your Gratitude: While your guests don’t expect gifts, a heartfelt thank you is essential. A simple, personal thank-you note after the event expressing your appreciation for their time and effort goes a long way. You could say, ‘Every time I look at the perfectly organized nursery, I’ll think of you. Thank you for helping us feel so much more prepared.’

Because nesting parties are a newer concept, you and your guests might have some questions about etiquette. It’s perfectly normal! Being upfront and clear is the best way to ensure everyone feels comfortable and happy to be there.

Is it rude to ask people to work for you?

Absolutely not. You are not asking for free labor; you are inviting your closest friends and family to be part of a meaningful, pre-baby milestone. People who love you want to help, but they often don’t know how. A nesting party gives them a concrete way to show their support. Frame it as an invitation, not an obligation.

What if people still want to bring a gift?

Many people will! The tradition of gift-giving is strong. It’s wise to have a small, private registry with essentials for those who ask. On the invitation, you can include a gentle note like: ‘Your help is truly the greatest gift, but if you’d like to bring something, we have a small registry of essentials [link here] or would be so grateful for a contribution to our freezer meal fund!’ This gives guests options without creating pressure.

How do you manage guests who aren’t physically able to help?

Ensure you have tasks for all ability levels. An older relative might be perfect for folding laundry while sitting comfortably in a chair. A friend on bedrest could help by ordering supplies online or managing the music playlist. You can also have a ‘social station’ with snacks and drinks where people can sit and chat with you. The goal is community, and their presence is just as important as their productivity.

Remember, the purpose is connection. Don’t get so caught up in the to-do list that you forget to enjoy the company of your village. Take breaks, laugh, and soak in the love and support surrounding you.